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Before I White 23 / 39
Book 2 of the "Cos I White" Series (Part 22)

arms ached from carrying William. But she had not stopped, had not slowed down, had not given in to the exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm her. She had found a small diner on the edge of a town she didn t recognize, a place that was just opening for the day. The lights were warm and inviting, the smell of coffee and bacon drifting out into the cold morning air. She had bought a cup of coffee with the last of her money, sitting in a booth in the corner, holding William in her lap. "Mama, I m tired," William had said, his voice small and weary. "I want to go home." Ruth had kissed the top of his head, her heart aching with love and grief. "I know, baby. I know you re tired. But we re going to be okay. We re going to find a place where they can t hurt us. I promise." She had looked down at him, at his pale hair and his winter blue eyes, at the face that was so much like his father s. She had felt a surge of love so powerful it almost broke her. He was her whole world, her reason for living, her only source of hope in a world that had given her nothing but pain. She had thought about James, about the man she had loved, about the man who had left her. She had wondered if he was still alive, if he was still running, if he still thought about her. She had no answers, only questions, and the questions were a constant ache in her heart. But she had pushed the questions aside, had focused on the present, had done what she had to do. She had kept running, kept hiding, kept hoping. It was all she could do. CHAPTER TWELVE: THE SECRET The secret was the hardest thing Ruth had ever carried, a weight that pressed down on her like a physical burden, a truth that she had never told a single soul. It was the reason she was running, the reason she was hiding, the reason she had left her son in a stranger s care. It was a secret that had haunted her for years, a secret that had destroyed her life and the lives of everyone she loved. She had learned the truth in a letter, a letter that James had sent before he disappeared. It had arrived weeks after he had left, a battered envelope with a postmark from a city she had never heard of, a city called Nashville, Tennessee. She had opened it with trembling hands, her heart pounding with hope, her eyes scanning the words with desperate hunger. She had read it over and over, trying to understand, trying to make sense of the revelation that had shattered everything she thought she knew. My dearest Ruth, I am sorry I left you. I am sorry I couldn t tell you the truth. But you need to know why I had to go, why I couldn t stay. There are men who are hunting me, men who want to use me for their own purposes. They are powerful, dangerous, and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. I have been running from them for years, and I will never stop running. Not until they are caught. But there is something else I need to tell you. Something I have never told anyone. The reason they are hunting me, the reason I can never go back, is that I know too much. I know

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