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Before I White 14 / 39
Book 2 of the "Cos I White" Series (Part 13)

and the air was thick with the smell of stale cigarette smoke and cheap perfume. But it was a roof over their heads, a place to sleep, a moment of respite from the constant running. "This is nice, Mama," William had said, his voice small and tired. "I like it here." Ruth had felt a surge of love so powerful it almost broke her. He was so young, so innocent, so eager to please. He didn t know that they were running, that they were hiding, that their lives were a constant game of survival. He didn t know that the last of her money was gone, that she had no idea where their next meal was coming from, that the men in black cars were getting closer every day. "Go to sleep, baby," she had whispered. "I ll be right here." She had tucked him into bed, smoothing the covers over him, kissing his forehead. She had sat on the edge of the bed, watching him sleep, her heart aching with a grief she couldn t name. She had looked at his pale hair, his winter blue eyes, his small, trusting face, and she had made a silent promise to herself. She would protect him. She would keep him safe. She would find a way to give him the life he deserved. No matter what it cost her. The knock had come in the middle of the night, a sharp, insistent sound that had jolted Ruth awake. She had sat up, her heart pounding, her eyes scanning the darkness. The knock had come again, louder this time, more urgent. "Who is it?" she had called out, her voice trembling. "Open the door, Ruth," a voice had answered. "We know you re in there." It was a man s voice, cold and smooth, a voice that sent a chill down her spine. She didn t know who he was, didn t recognize the voice, but she knew in her bones that he was dangerous. She had heard that voice before, in her nightmares, in her fears, in the constant dread that had followed her for years. "William," she had whispered, shaking him awake. "William, get up. We have to go." He had woken up, disoriented, confused. "Mama, what s wrong?" "Shh," she had said, pressing a finger to her lips. "Don t make a sound. We have to be quiet." She had grabbed his hand and led him to the window, pushing it open, climbing out into the night. The ground had been hard and cold beneath her feet, but she hadn t felt it, hadn t felt anything but the terror that drove her forward. They had run into the darkness, the motel disappearing behind them, the man s voice fading into the distance. Ruth had run until her lungs burned and her legs gave out, and then she had collapsed against a tree, her body shaking with exhaustion and fear. "Mama, I m scared," William had whispered, his voice small and trembling. Ruth had pulled him close, her arms wrapped around him, her heart aching with love and fear. "I know, baby," she had said. "I know you re scared. But we re going to be okay. We re going to find a place where they can t hurt us. I promise." She had made that promise so many times, to him and to herself. She had promised that they would be safe, that they would find a home, that the running would end. And she had believed it, had clung to that belief like a lifeline. But

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