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Before I White 11 / 39
Book 2 of the "Cos I White" Series (Part 10)

no coming back from it. The confrontation had come on a Sunday afternoon, after church. Her father had called her into his study, his face a mask of cold fury. Her mother had stood by the window, her back turned, her shoulders rigid with disapproval. "You ve disgraced this family," her father had said, his voice low and dangerous. "You ve thrown away everything we ve given you. Everything we ve worked for. For what? For some... some nobody from the other side of the tracks?" Ruth had wanted to defend herself, to explain that the man she loved was not a nobody, that he was kind and gentle and had promised to marry her. But the words had died in her throat. She had seen the look in her father s eyes, and she had known that nothing she could say would make a difference. "Who is he?" her mother had asked, finally turning from the window. Her voice was cold, dismissive, the voice of a woman who had long ago stopped believing that her daughter was capable of anything worthwhile. "I can t tell you," Ruth had whispered. "Can t, or won t?" her father had demanded. "Both." The truth was that she had promised to protect him. He was a good man, a decent man, but he was also a man with secrets, a man who had trusted her with those secrets and asked her to keep them safe. She had loved him, and she had kept her promise. But her father had not been moved by love. He had been moved by rage, by pride, by the cold calculation of a man who had built his life on appearances and was not about to let his daughter destroy it all. "Either you name the father," her father had said, "or you leave this house and never return." She had refused, and he had made good on his threat. The days after her expulsion had been a blur of tears and pain. Ruth had wandered the streets, her suitcase in hand, her heart heavy with grief. She had no place to go, no one to turn to, no hope for the future. She had ended up in a small boarding house on the edge of town, a place where the rooms were cheap and the neighbors were indifferent. She had spent her last few dollars on a room, a tiny space with a bed and a chair and nothing else. She had sat on the bed, her hands empty, her heart broken, and wept. She had thought about her parents, about the life she had lost, about the future she would never have. She had thought about the child growing inside her, the child who would never know his grandparents, the child who would grow up without a family. And she had felt a rage rise up inside her, a rage that was fierce and hot and all consuming. She had been cast out, discarded, abandoned. She had been treated as if she were nothing, as if her life meant nothing, as if her existence was a crime. But she would not let that rage consume her. She would not let the anger win. She had a child to think about, a child who needed her, a child who deserved a better life than she could give him. William was born on a cold December night, in a small hospital in Hattiesburg. Ruth had been alone, terrified, her body wracked with pain. But when she had held her son in her arms, all the pain had melted

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